Yesterday no more..........

I finally came back to Kolkata, spent the first two weeks lazing around at home and doing my long overdue heap of good deeds like helping my kid sister with her schoolwork or helping mom around the kitchen a little bit. Then came the PG hunting, I had no idea that finding a decent PG accommodation in Salt lake would be so hectic and confusing. Anyway I finally got a good one and shifted last Sunday much to my parents’ relief (atleast it seemed so!!).

My good deeds also included my customary visit to my alma-mater to meet my old teachers. Visiting school this time was a revelation of sorts. It made me realise the fantastic world we once existed in and how we succumbed to its pseudo comfort. Those blurred nostalgic moments come flashing by everytime raw ruthless competition bangs straight on my face. The world I live in now is rudely and curtly “real”. Even now there’s a little girl somewhere inside who pops her head from nowhere and leaves me in the labyrinth of bittersweet memories.

College however taught me the lessons of a lifetime. Here memories come with cold expiry dates. I was always among the top five so no one dared to sneer at me because they needed my help. No one praised me either. My voice wasn’t mellifluous, dance never captured my toes and sports was just not for me. I was yet another obscure face in the sea of the faceless.

With just six months left for masters to get over I now know that life will never be a cakewalk anymore. It taught me to trust my enemies, they don’t flatter me. It revealed that there are more frustrations than excitements in life for people like us who are not born with a silver spoon, that success is perched above a thousand rickety stairs of failure. It made the stubborn me realise that I had 40 classmates and hardly one true friend. And then when those stipulated 5 years went by it declared it didn’t need me anymore and I subtly conveyed that I didn’t need it either.

Lastly it shouted shamelessly at me, you live one day and survive everyday.