Yet another rant....

I sometimes wonder how long I’m going to sulk and consequently listen to blues, binge on zinger burgers, French fries and chocolates, have crazy cravings for things I can’t do on my own.

And friends keep blogging about how opening up helps and how friends are always there and all that.

It feels like a crime not to be happy; and with the whole NDTV thing coming up; after I fought with the world convincing them that it was I was supposed to do all along and I’d be good at and blah blah!! I guess the hunt is more fun than the kill, huh??

Lately all I’m doing after my lab work is getting a whole lot HIMYM and SCRUBS watching done and even people in sitcoms are falling in love, making babies!! Lately a close friend is expecting his first kid and send me some pics of his wife and it made me go "Awwww!! i want one of those!!" .All my girlfriends are “committed” and to quote a really close friend she’s supposedly “making out like bunnies” in Europe. That gives me a horrible visual btw. Phew!! Why me??

I started freaking out people at home so much so (given that I didn’t speak apart from monosyllables) that I was forcefully taken to Shantiniketan because Ma insisted that I needed a break. It was a good break away from all the cynical people I know and concrete jungles and all that but now that I’m back I’m onto it again, as a somebody aptly puts it I’m “feeling sad about the same thing once again”. I had promised myself that my blog won’t be a shithole for my psychobabble and here I go ranting again.

Last time I remember I was sulking because I thought I was in love and now I’m sulking because I can’t go out with my phenomenally hot neighbour on our customary walks all over Salt Lake because I’m leaving the city :-) and the outcome of it all are my regular visits to Someplace Else and rush headlong into pitchers of gold and tell off some poor friend (read Crush) because he’s happy with some chic!!!! I so want to undo that; if life would just be like my Ipod…..rewind, fast forward or shuffle.

Well the bright side of it all is I’ve watched a lot of good cinema, thanks to Max Mueller Bhavan and its Docu-forum and the upcoming “Dialogues in Diversity” featuring a series of short films selected from the 5^th Asian Women’s Film Festival 2009 supplemented by two relevant German films as well. Each of them has touched me in some way or the other, made me a little better or worse.Also I’ve done some quality reading, Franz Kafka’s Amerika, Mohsin Hamid’s Moth Smoke and Mohammed Hamid’s A case of Exploding Mangoes among a few others. The last two being the finest political thrillers I’ve come across in a very long time.