My Inconvient Reality

I am back to a world where some questions have answers and some remain but open ended statements.
I was hit by a profound reality today when the girlfriend of a so-called friend called me up to ask me to stop talking to or messaging him.I complied without a word.
She continued to say “I knew you would understand” and then hung up.
I did understand.Life has it’s weird ways.That too a day before my b’day when I wanted to call them both over for dinner.
It just left me wondering about fragility of such inconsequential relationships.

Nevertheless Life is a positive streak,an obtrusive flash of light.I have pushed myself over the edge at times when it’s been hard.I forced myself to believe that hope is not just a four-letter word, that it implies so much more.
Right now,I’m sorting my life out,trying to find the missing pieces of the puzzle before I shift to Delhi in July. A paradigm shift from my present field of study,a colossal load of work,the pressure to prove myself……it’s making me jittery already.

I guess I am addicted to obsessing. I ALWAYS have a Current Obsession. At the moment its my internship with NDTV.Broadcast journalism is a lot of responsibility I feel. I already feel responsible for not bringing persistent and significant changes to my society, my environment and my country for these 23 years that I have walked on Earth.

I admit I’m scared.Scared of it all,homesickness,nuclear living,strange cities and strange deceitful faces,the weight of consequences and choices that I have always made on my own. My jaded and inconvenient reality.